Breaking Point
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: After last week's tough shift Ethan struggles to cope and makes a drastic decision. Based on upcoming clip of next week's episode.
1. Chapter 1

The week hadn't exactly been his week. To start off with he had missed vital signs of a child being abused, the next the ED was put on a black alert and he had failed to save a suicidal patient. Ethan was pushed to his limits and every time anyone asked how he was he would just snap at them. Of course, he didn't mean to snap at them but, he was tired and stressed. Since that week Ethan had made himself a promise to give all the patients the care and treatment they deserved. Cal had noticed his brother's mental breakdown. On a number of occasions he had tried to talk to him, tired to see if he was okay. Yet, all he received was 'I'm fine'. Cal saw Ethan wasn't alright but, not wanting to cause an argument with him he left it at that. Cal had thought about telling Ethan about their adoption and their mother's illness but, seeing his little brother in such a state at the moment he thought better and decided to leave it till the time was right. Ethan stood in reception looking at some patient files. He was tired and needed to take a break, but because of what happened last week he was determined to be the best he could be at his job. Lily approached him.

"Ethan," She said. "You need a break. You've been working non-stop. You're putting patient lives at risk."

"I'm fine, Lily. I wish everyone would stop asking me that."

"No, you're not fine. What is it?"

Ethan couldn't do this any longer.

"I'm tired. I quit."

Ethan placed his files down and walked away leaving Lily stunned. Hearing Ethan say those two words 'I quit' Lily shook her head. She never thought she would hear Ethan say those words. He was such a dedicated doctor that she couldn't imagine him not doing his job and treating his patients. She needed to talk to someone. She needed to stop Ethan from throwing away his career, a career he loved and worked for, for a long time. She knew just the two people to go to for help. She found them in the staffroom. Closing the door behind her she stood in front of them.

"Yes, Lily. What is it?" Charlie asked seeing her looking at him and Cal.

"You haven't seen your brother yet, have your?" Lily turned to Cal.

"No, not since yesterday morning." Cal replied. "Why do you ask?"

"I assume you've noticed how he's struggling since last week?" Lily continued.

"Yes. So what?" Cal said.

That's when Lily goes quiet and begins to doubt whether this was such a good idea to talk to Cal and Charlie behind Ethan's back. She looks towards the floor. Both Cal and Charlie could sense there was something wrong.

"Lily, what is it?" Cal asked standing up and walking over to her.

"Um..."

"If this has something to do with Ethan and you're not telling me I need to know. I have the right to know. He is my brother." Cal commented, fear now tightening in his chest.

"He um told me he's quit."

Cal looked at her confused as did Charlie.

"Who's quit?" Cal inquired.

"Ethan. He's quit."

Cal's heart stopped for a minute. Did he just hear correctly? He knew Ethan was struggling since last week but, he had no clue it was this bad. How could he have missed the signs? He was so caught up worrying about whether to tell Ethan about their adoption he completely ignored his brother and how he must have been feeling. It took a while for him to comprehend what Lily had just told them. Finally his breathing got back in control.

"Are you sure?" He managed to say.

"I don't know if he's formally resigned yet and talked to Connie, but he seemed pretty adamant about his decision." Lily answered.

"But, you did talk him out of it, didn't you?" Cal asked, his heartbeat getting faster.

Lily doesn't answer.

"Didn't you?" Cal asked again more firmly.

Lily shook her head. Cal groaned and began to pace.

"Why didn't you?" Cal snapped.

"This is not my fault." Lily snapped back.

"Isn't it? You're supposed to be his friend."

Charlie intervened before the conversation escalated into a full blown argument.

"Calm down." Charlie turned to Cal. "This isn't Lily's fault. And Lily, you should have talked to him or at least tried to."

"I didn't get the chance. As soon as he told me he just walked away."

"Right." Cal said heading towards the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Charlie wondered.

"To speak to Ethan."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Look, Charlie, I can't let him quit. He should have talked to me. Should have told me first instead of telling Lily. He shouldn't keep this from me."

Charlie gave him a look.

"What? Like you've been keeping the news away from him? Like you came to me before talking to him?"

"Don't start this again, Charlie." Cal sighed. "This has got nothing to do with that. It's completely different."

"How is it different?"

"Because this is Ethan. Ethan who lives his job. Ethan who loves what he does. This is his life."

"And? So is you keeping the news from him."

"Please, Charlie. Just leave it. I need to find him." Cal left leaving Charlie slightly annoyed and Lily worried about Ethan.


	2. Chapter 2

Connie wasn't in her office when Ethan had entered to hand in his notice so he left it on her desk on top of other files. Heading back out he leant against the closed door and closed his eyes. He knew he was doing the right thing he just hoped Connie would understand. Walking away he walked up to reception hoping to see if Noel had any patients in cubicles. He wanted to get his mind off of what he had just done. Thankfully, Noel had got a patient for him. Nodding his thanks Ethan walked off in the direction of cubicles. As soon as he disappeared into cubicles Cal passed by reception.

"Noel, have you seen Ethan by any chance?" Cal asked coming up to the counter.

"Yes, he's in cubicles."

"Do you know which cubicle?"

"Cubicle 8." Noel responded looking at the computer screen.

"Great. Thanks."

In cubicle 8 Ethan was treating Thomas Austen, 5 year old boy who had come in with his older brother, Richard, complaining of chest pains , dizzy spells, nausea and difficulty breathing. He was just examining his patient's chest when he heard the curtains being drawn back. He turned, placing his stethoscope back around his neck.

"Cal?"

"Can I have a word?" Cal asked.

"I'm with a patient at the moment."

"Now, please." Cal demanded.

"Can it wait?" Ethan questioned.

"No, it can't."

"Would you please excuse me." Ethan explained to his patient and the patient's brother.

Following Cal back out he drew the curtains around.

"Yes. What is it?" Ethan demanded.

"Why the hell did you quit?"

"Who told you I quit?"

"Does it matter? Why didn't you talk to me?"

"Because it's got nothing to do with you." Ethan retorted. "Look can we talk about it later, I'm rather busy at the moment."

Before Cal could open his mouth Ethan returned to his patient. Cal sighed. How was he supposed to tell Ethan the truth when he was already in a mess? Cal shook his head. He would deal with that later. Right now Ethan needed him. A few minutes after Ethan had returned to his patient he had signed the discharge forms and the patient was free to go home. He had seen 6 more patients after that, all of them minor. It hadn't been as stressful as he thought it would be but, in a way he was grateful. He was still so tired but, he didn't dare take a break. Ethan was busy reading through other files when Noel came up to him.

"Ethan, Connie would like to see you in her office."

Ethan nodded his thanks and left. Knocking on the door he was granted permission to enter. Closing the door behind him he noticed the envelope in Connie's hand unopened.

"You haven't opened it?" Ethan inquired.

Connie looked down at what was in her hand.

"No. And I do not need to open it." She said looking back at him.

"Why?"

"You know exactly why. I know last week was difficult for you and you feel like you've let people down, but what you did for that girl showed what a credit you are to this department. Are you really prepared to let all your hard work, your dedication go to waste for nothing?"

"I let a patient die and nearly risked a little girl's life." Ethan told her.

"Ethan, you're a doctor. Your job is to treat people and if you have any worries about a patient then you should go to the police, It is not your responsibility."

"But, it is my responsibility. I should have spotted the signs as soon as she was admitted."

"We all have bad days now and again, but it's how we respond that matters." Connie told him.

Ethan nods.

"And that's why I've decided to hand in my resignation. I quit."

"Ethan…."

"No. I know you're trying to talk me out of this, but I've made up my mind. I can't do this anymore."

Ethan then left Connie's office. Watching Ethan walk away Connie leant back in her chair and sighed. She was not about to lose one of her most valuable doctors. Getting up of her chair she walked out of her office and headed towards reception.

"Noel, if you see Cal, can you please send him to my office?"

Noel nodded. Meanwhile, Ethan was attempting to find anything to keep him busy. Lily saw what he was doing. He had been going 48 hours straight without taking a break and now he had just done another 5 without taking a rest too. She could see he was tired.

"Ethan," Lily stopped him.

"Just leave it, Lily." He snapped.

"Come on. You need a break. Why don't you go home and sleep?"

"I don't want to go home. Oh, and who gave you permission to tell Cal about my decision to quit?" Ethan questioned, turning back around.

"He needed to know."

"Why? It was my decision."

"He's your brother and I thought he could talk you out of it."

"Like I said it was my decision. Just stay out of my way!"

Ethan was getting annoyed with everyone. He was sick and tired of people telling what he could and couldn't do. Why couldn't people just leave him alone? About an hour later Cal found him head in his hands sitting in the staffroom.

"You alright?" Cal inquired coming up to him.

"Would you quit asking me!" Ethan shouted.

He stood up, grabbed his coat and walked back out.

"Ethan!" Cal called after him.

"What?" Ethan turned around.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"You're in no state to drive. Let me." Cal offered.

"No, I'm fine. Just leave me alone."

Cal didn't have time to respond Ethan walked away before he could speak. Charlie came up to him.

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know." Cal shrugged.

Sitting in his car, Ethan slammed his hands on the steering wheel. He was annoyed at himself for letting the stress get to him. Annoyed at having failed his job of looking after his patients. He wiped away at his eyes angrily and started the engine. Driving off his mind was really concentrating on the road ahead of him.


	3. Chapter 3

Dixie and Iain were called out to an RTC minutes later. Jumping out of the ambulance they were met with a scene of horror. Two cars had smashed into with each. One of them had the bumper completely destroyed. That car was their main priority. Running over with their equipment the two paramedics began their assessment.

"Hiya, mate…." Dixie suddenly stopped. "Ethan? Ethan, can you hear me? It's Dixie."

"What's going on?" Iain asked climbing into the back.

"It's Ethan."

Iain still stabilising his neck peered round.

"Is he conscious?"

Dixie felt for a pulse. It was faint.

"Right, we need to get him out of here. If we don't then he's going to arrest."

Dixie called for the fire crew to help remove Ethan from the damaged car.

"On my count. 1,2,3 and lift." Dixie ordered.

Having managed to place Ethan on a trolley, Iain suddenly could feel a pulse.

"He's got no output." Iain shouted.

Iain began chest compressions as he and Dixie ran to the ambulance. Iain jumped into the back while Dixie wasted no time in racing off to the hospital. Pushing the ambulance doors open the two paramedics were met with Connie, Lily and Lofty. Connie didn't need to ask them who was on the trolley. They saw the minute the trolley was rolled out of the back with Iain frantically doing chest compressions.

"Let's get him into RESUS immediately." Connie instructed.

"Ethan was trapped at the scene. KO'd and went into cardiac arrest as soon as we got him out. He's been unresponsive for the past 30 minutes" Iain explained as he continued to press of Ethan's chest and they rolled into RESUS.

"Right, I need full chest x-ray, CT scan. 2 litres of saline, 2 units of blood and 4 units crossed matched. And can someone find Cal" Connie ordered as everyone raced around trying to save Ethan.

Back out in cubicles Cal was busy treating a patient. He was unaware of what was happening in RESUS. He had finished stitching up the head wound when the curtains were draw back rather roughly.

"Cal…. Need you in RESUS." Lofty managed to say.

"You alright?"

Lofty shook his head. He was still panting trying to catch his breath.

"Lofty, what is it?" Cal said impatiently.

"It's Ethan." Lofty spluttered out.

Cal didn't even excuse himself from his patient. He just rushed out of cubicles and ran towards RESUS. He wasn't watching where he was going and accidently bumped into Charlie on the way.

"What's the hurry?" Charlie asked putting his hands out in front of him to stop Cal from tripping over.

"Can't talk now, Charlie. I need to get to RESUS. It's Ethan."

"Cal, okay, you need to calm down. And you know the rules. No family members allowed."

"Please, Charlie. I need to see him. I need to know how he is."

"Why don't we just wait to hear news in the staffroom."

Cal wasn't going to stand around waiting. He pushed past Charlie and straight to RESUS. Bursting through the doors it was chaos. Lily was busy doing chest compressions while Connie was looking at an iPad. Presumably, with Ethan's CT scan results.

"Connie, what happened?" Cal asked .

"Cal, you can't be here. Go to the staffroom." Connie instructed.

"No. I want to stay."

"Dr. Knight, staffroom now." Connie demanded.

"No. I'm staying. Please let me stay. Just tell me, how bad are his injuries."

Before Connie could respond the machines went erratic.

"Right, he's in asystole. I need 5 mg of atropine." Connie ordered as Lily began CPR.

The atropine was injected. Lily continued pressing on Ethan's chest. Cal watched on in dread as he ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't believe he was watching his brother die in front of his eyes. He knew he shouldn't have let Ethan drive earlier on. He could see he was in no fit state and he should have insisted he'd take him home. But, he hadn't. He just let Ethan drive home by himself. Now looked what had happened. Ethan could die and it would be his fault.

"No, no, no." He shook his head. "Come on, Ethan. Don't you do this. Don't you dare die on me. Not now. Not when I have something to tell you." He whispered.

By now Lily had stopped CPR and Connie was feeling for a pulse.

"Anything?" Lily inquired.

"Not output." Connie said sadly.

Lily carried on with the CPR.

By now Lofty and Max were by Cal's side looking on but, at the same time trying to get Cal to come with them to the staffroom. Cal wouldn't budge. He wouldn't go until he knew Ethan was alright.

"Come on, mate." Lofty said quietly. "There's nothing you can do."

Cal continued to shake his head and shrugged their hands off him. Seeing Cal wouldn't leave until Ethan regained an output, Lofty and Max remained at his side. Another hour later and the machines showed no signs of a pulse. Connie placed her hand on top of Lily's. Cal came away from standing between Max and Lofty.

"Connie, what are you doing? You can't give up on him. Please you've got to keep trying." Cal urged tears forming in his eyes.

"Cal, I'm very sorry. But, he's had no output for the last 2 hours. His injuries were severe." Connie told him sympathetically.

"No, you've got to carry on." Cal said desperately. "Please, you've got to save him. You've got to save my brother."

Cal looked at Connie then at Lily pleading with them to carry on with the CPR. Lily looked at Connie.

"Connie, we've got to at least try." Lily said.

"Lily, we've done everything we can. There's nothing else we can do." Connie repeated.

Cal wasn't having any of this. Ethan was his little brother. He was all the family he had left. He was not about to lose him. Seeing how desperate and distraught Cal was about losing him, Connie reluctantly gave in.

"Right, can I have 5 mg of adrenaline. Lily continue with the CPR." Connie said as the drug was administered.

Lily carried on with the CPR for another 30 minutes. 30 minutes later and Connie replaced two fingers against


	4. Chapter 4

"We've got a pulse." Connie breathed out.

Both Lily, Max, Lofty and Cal sighed. Ethan was going to be okay. Connie walked over to them and pulled Cal away from the other two.

"You do understand we'll have to keep him in for observation. We don't know how serious he will be until he wakes up, but for now he's stable. "

"I do. Can I stay with him?"

"We'll move him up to ITU as soon as there is a bed available but, you can sit with him until then."

Cal was left alone with Ethan as the others left them. Slowly walking over to the bed his breath hitched as saw Ethan lying still, his eyes still closed. If it wasn't for the rise and fall of his chest, Cal could have thought he was dead. Fortunately, he wasn't and that was good. He could not imagine his life without his brother. Cal's hand brushed over Ethan's. All he wanted was to grab his hand in his, pull him against his chest and never let his little brother go ever again. Silently, sobs shook through his body and Cal's shoulders heaved as he held Ethan close to him.

"I'm so sorry, Ethan. This is all my fault. I should never have let you drive, you were in no fit state to do so." He whispered into his blond curls.

Cal soon felt arms being wrapped around his neck.

"Ethan?" He said stroking his hair and pulling away from their embrace.

As he pulled away Cal saw Ethan looking at him straight in the eyes.

"You're awake, Nibbles." Cal smiled pulling him back against his chest.

"Oof." Ethan grunted as he felt himself being slammed into Cal's chest.

"Sorry. I'm just glad you're awake." Cal told him letting Ethan lean back against his pillow.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Ethan shook his head slightly.

"No, not really. All I remember is driving then everything went black."

Ethan suddenly winced in pain and rubbed his temple.

"Ethan, are you okay?" Cal asked worriedly.

"I um, I….I don't know."

Ethan's eyes rolled into the back of his head and the metal railings began to clatter as Ethan started having a seizure. Pressing the emergency button Cal helped Ethan onto his side.

"What's happened?" Connie demanded as she and Lily entered the room.

"He started to rub his temple. But, he didn't have time to explain what was going on. He started fitting." Cal replied as Connie and Lily helped him to calm Ethan.

"Lily, can I get 5mg of Diazepam." Connie instructed.

Once Lily had injected the medicine Ethan's seizure stopped. Connie checked his vitals signs.

"Well, he's stable."

Ethan's began to flutter open. Taking out a torch Connie shone the light.

"Pupils are reactive and dilated."

"Now to see you back with us." Connie said to Ethan.

"What happened?" Ethan groaned.

"You just had a seizure, but we've managed to stop it. I want to keep you in for overnight observations and we're going to order another CT scan just to see what's caused the seizure." Connie explained to him.

Ethan nodded slightly. Soon Ethan was ready to go up to CT. In the CT scanner, Ethan's breathing was becoming laboured and as he began to slide into the scanner he became agitated. He thrashed about.

"Ethan, you've got to calm down." Connie told him.

"Cal. I want Cal." Ethan cried.

"Ethan…"

"NO! I WANT CAL! WHERE'S CAL?"

"Lily, go and get Cal." Connie turned to her.

Seconds later Lily re-entered with Cal following behind him.

"WHERE'S CAL? I NEED CAL?" Ethan whimpered.

"He's been like this since we've got here." Connie explained to him.

"CAL!"

"Hey, it's okay, Nibbles. I'm here." Cal grabbed his brother's hand.

"I'm scared."

"I know you are." Cal leant over him. "I know it's frightening but, you need to do this. We need to see what caused your seizure."

"Don't leave me." Ethan sobbed.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to leave you. I'll be right out here when you're finished. " Cal reassured him.

Cal turned around to go, but felt his hand being pulled back.

"I don't want you to go. I don't want to do this."

"Ethan, it's okay. I promise. I know you don't want to go in there, but we need to know what's wrong so we can make you better."

Minutes later Cal watched on through the glass as Ethan went into the CT scan. As soon as he entered Ethan began to get agitated again.

"Please, get me out. I don't like it. Get me out." Ethan shouted.

"Almost done." Connie called through the glass.

"No, I just want to get out. Please, let me out." Ethan continued to get stressed.

"Ethan," Cal said through the glass. "Calm down. You're almost finished. "

But, Ethan wouldn't calm down. He still thrashed about, his arms flailing.

"Right, get him out." Connie said.

"Hey, hey. You're okay now. It's all done." Cal spoke to him.

Soon Ethan was rolled back into ITU, Cal beside him holding his hand. Once Ethan was settled Connie took Cal to one side.

"By the look of the CT scan it's not good news I'm afraid. There's a bleed on his brain and he needs to have surgery."

"He will be okay, won't he?" Cal asked.

"We won't know until the surgery is completed." Connie told him frankly. "I'll leave you two alone."

Cal walked back over to his brother and took hold of his hand. He squeezed it tightly.

"Everything's going to be just fine." Cal said to him.


	5. Chapter 5

A day later Ethan had had his surgery. Cal sat waiting and watching over him. There was a quiet knock at the door. Cal turned around to see Zoe standing there.

"How's he doing?" She asked coming over to them.

"He's stable, but he hasn't woken up yet." Cal told her.

"Well, Connie's just told me the surgery was a success so all we need to do now is wait."

"I just hope he wakes up soon."

"I know." Zoe patted him the shoulder.

Zoe went to check Ethan's vitals and saline drip. Happy that everything was as it should be she returned to her duties.

"Cal?"

Cal turned around and saw Ethan was awake. Cal stroked his hair and smiled.

"Nibbles, you're okay."

"Why does my head hurt?"

"You've just come out of surgery so your head is going to hurt for a few hours."

Cal could see he was scared.

"Budge over." Cal said to him, climbing in.

"What are you doing?" Ethan asked him.

"Getting in the bed." Cal replied.

"I'm 28 not 2. Aren't we just a little too big?"

Ethan scooted over so Cal could fit in.

"We're never too big." Cal answered draping his arm over Ethan's shoulder.

Cal felt Ethan tense up but, he soon felt his brother relax against his chest. Tightening his hold on him, Cal continued to stroke Ethan's hair as Ethan wrapped his arm around Cal's waist. Cal smiled into his brother's blond curls as he remembered. When they were little, he must have been about 6 and Ethan 4, Cal would clambered onto his brother's bed and pull his brother into his lap. Ethan felt safe in Cal's arms and whenever he was scared, Ethan would snuggle up against his big brother. Ethan felt Cal smile against his hair.

"What?" His voice muffled.

"Nothing."

Ethan pulled away from the embrace.

"Really?"

Cal pulled him back towards him.

"I was just thinking about when we were kids and you used to feel safe in my arms."

"I still do." Came a hushed reply.

Cal gently placed a kiss upon his brother's head. The two remained in their embrace in silence. That was until Cal broke it.

"Ethan…. There's something I need to tell you."


	6. Chapter 6

Ethan pulled away and looked at Cal with worry in his eyes. Cal still didn't know whether this was a good time to tell him, but he knew he had put it off long enough. He just hoped it wouldn't cause Ethan to breakdown even further. Cal sat up on the bed while Ethan remained lying down.

"Look, I want you to not speak until I've told you everything." Cal said.

Ethan nodded.

"And I want you to know that whatever happens I never meant to hurt you." Cal added.

"Okay, but you're scaring me now." Ethan said.

"I said don't speak."

Ethan closed his mouth and waited for his brother to continue. Cal took the silence and dragged it out until he was ready to carry on. Eventually, he took a deep breath.

"Um, you know I took the paternity test?" Cal began.

Ethan didn't respond.

"Well, do you?"

"You told me not to speak."

Cal slightly chuckled at how seriously Ethan took his comment.

"Ethan, you can speak but, don't ramble on."

"What about the paternity test?"

"On it I discovered my blood group was different. It said my blood group was O. But, mum's was AB. At first I thought there must have been some mistake and that's when I asked Charlie to retake it."

"When I came in?"

"`Yes. Turns out the paternity results weren't wrong. My blood group is O."

Ethan looks at him. He doesn't know what Cal is trying to say to him. Cal notices Ethan's confusion.

"Um, what I'm trying to say is I'm adopted…."

"We're not brothers?"

"No, wait. When I found out I was adopted I needed to know if you were actually my real brother so Charlie tracked down my birth mum. I discovered she gave away two boys, you and me. At first I wondered why we didn't get adopted separately, but then she told me she wanted us to stay together so we had someone to look out for each other. So Ethan, we are brothers. By blood, by everything." Cal smiled.

Cal was about to wrap his arms around his brother when he flinched away.

"What is it?"

"You said Charlie knew. How long has he known about this?"

"Since Christmas."

Ethan was stunned.

"And how long have you known about this?" Ethan asked Cal.

"Since Christmas." He replied quietly.

"So you've known about this since Christmas? And you didn't think it was a good idea to mention it to me?" Ethan said raising his voice.

"I was going to but…."

"But, what? It slipped your mind?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Would you just let me finish?"

"Fine. Go ahead."

"That's not all."

"It isn't?"

"No. Well, um our birth mum….um has got um…." Cal couldn't bring himself to tell Ethan.

"She's got what?" Ethan retorted.

"She's got Huntington's." Cal blurted out.

Ethan didn't dare to speak. He couldn't speak. He continued to stare at his brother in disbelief. Cal noticed he was having difficulty taking the news all in. Cal placed a hand on his brother's arm.

"DON'T…. you touch me." Ethan snapped.

"Ethan…."

"I said don't you dare touch me."

"Please, Ethan. We need to talk." Cal pleaded.

"Talk?" Ethan responded sarcastically. "Talk about what? Talk about the fact you kept this from me? Talk about how you lied to me? Or talk about how you went to Charlie instead of coming to your own brother?"

"Look, Ethan…."

"No, I don't want to hear any more lies. I've had it with you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Cal asks.

"It's about you, Cal. It's always about you."

"You know that's not true."

"What? So you were protecting me is that it?"

"Yes."

"By lying to me?"

"I didn't lie to you."

"You didn't tell me. That's basically lying."

"I was going to tell you."

"Save it, Cal. I don't want to hear any more excuses. I think you should leave."

Cal nodded slightly.

"Very well, then. I'll leave. But, we'll talk later, yeah?" Cal added.

"No. I mean I think you should leave the flat."


	7. Chapter 7

Cal stopped in his tracks. He turned to face Ethan.

"Please, don't do this, Ethan. We need to talk this through."

"There's nothing to talk about. You lied to me, Cal. I can't forgive you for that."

"Ethan…."

"No. I've said before. I don't want to hear any more of your excuse. What you did was wrong."

"I know." Cal replied his voice choking. "I know what I did was wrong. But, how could I tell you when I was scared?"

"You were scared? How about me? I'm scared too."

"Then that's why we need to talk so we can be there for each other."

Ethan chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Cal asked.

"You don't get it, do you?" Ethan commented. "You lied to me and you don't seemed to bothered by that fact. How can you think I would want to talk to you after what you've just done?"

"Please, Ethan. I know I hurt you and I know you're angry, but we need to sort this out." Cal pleaded.

"And I need to be on my own for awhile."

Cal could sense that their conversation was turning into an argument. So not wanting it to become an argument he left ITU and headed back down to reception. On his way down he spotted Charlie heading in the direction of ITU. Cal guessed where Charlie was heading.

"Uh, Charlie. I wouldn't go and see Ethan at the moment. He's not really in the mood to talk to anyone right now." Cal told him as Charlie passed by.

Charlie stopped and turned around.

"Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. I, um told him about our adoption and about the Huntington's."

"How did he take it?"

"How do you think?" Cal snapped.

Cal closed his eyes and sighed.

"Sorry, Charlie. I didn't mean to. It's just that Ethan's upset at the moment."

"Can you blame him?"

"Of course, I don't blame him. I can understand he's hurt and what I did was wrong, but I was only doing what I thought was best. I was only doing it because I was scared I'd lose him. I did it because I love him."

"Have you tried telling him that?"

"Yes, but he thinks I'm lying. He thinks I'm making up excuses."

"Tell him again."

"I've tried but, he won't listen to me. What should I do? Tell me what to do."

Charlie could see Cal was stressed out. He could see he was really worried that he was losing Ethan.

"Let him have time to heal. Let him have time to get his head around the news like you did. In time he'll come round. In the meantime just be there for him." Charlie advised.

Cal gave him a weak smile. Charlie then went back to the nurses' station while Cal walked away and back to cubicles. In ITU Ethan sat up in his bed thinking about what he'd just discovered. He couldn't believe Cal, well he could but thought his brother had changed since the arrival and subsequent departing of Matilda. He groaned in anger. He realised handing his resignation had been a good decision. Now, he could get away from his brother. Once he was better and well enough to be discharged he was leaving Holby for good. He would not look back. Once he was gone he was never going to return. He'd had enough of his brother's lies. He'd had enough of having to fix all his brother's problems. It was time Cal learnt to look after himself and with Ethan gone he could do just that.

An hour later Cal sat in the staffroom, his head in his hands. He thumped his wrist on top of the counter in anger and groaned. He was angry with himself for lying to his brother. He was angry with Ethan for thinking he didn't care about him. It was far from the truth. Ever since Cal had found out he had done nothing but, think about Ethan. Even when Charlie said to him it was Ethan's life too that would be affected by the news, Cal was taken aback. He couldn't believe Charlie actually thought he hadn't considered how Ethan would have felt. Of course, Cal cared about Ethan. Ethan was his little brother, his safety net. He meant everything to him. And Cal meant what he said when he was afraid to lose him. Cal could not imagine what his life would be like without his brother, nor could he imagine losing his brother to such a dreadful illness. The moment the thought of Ethan having Huntington's popped into Cal's mind, he felt his stomach turn and chest clench. If Ethan had inherited the illness from their birth mum, Cal swore he would be there for him. He swore he would never let Ethan face it on his own. They face and fight it together. They would do that because they were brothers. And brothers catch each other when the other falls. They would both be each other's safety nets.

Then he remembered Ethan had quit. He would make sure Ethan stayed and they would work their problems out. Cal wasn't about to let his brother quit the job he loved doing nor would he let him deal with his issues on his own. Cal would step up and be the big brother he should have been. He would be the big brother Ethan deserved. He would be the big brother he was when they were kids. Cal promised on his life he would never leave Ethan alone.


End file.
